How To Play "Office BINGO":

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and training sessions at your office? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that:

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare your "Bullcrap Bingo" card by drawing a square -- 5" x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns --five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
synergy, strategic fit, core competencies, best practices, bottom line, revisit, paradigm, 24/7, out-of-the-loop, benchmark, value-added, proactive, win-win, think outside the box, fast-track, result-driven, empower, knowledge-base, at the end of the day, touch base, active listening, mindset, client-focused, ballpark, game-plan, leverage, technology.

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases spoken during the course of your meeting.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up immediately and shout "BULLCRAP!"

Here are some testimonials from satisfied "Bullcrap Bingo" players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
Jack W., Boston

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
--David D., Florida

"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."
--Bill R., New York City

"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box."
--Ben G., Denver

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed "BULLCRAP!" for the third time in two hours."

* * * * * * *

"...Anyhow.....me and this operator got talking and he spilled the beans. He's got 17 bingo's bricked up in his house behind his kitchen wall. He has decided at the ripe old age of 77 that it's time to get them out and sell them off.

He told me he went to Antwerp in Belgium in 1962 and bought them. They cost him $200 each then and would have cost $2000 locally due to the money making potential.

Should be interesting knocking down his kitchen wall. His wife's going to have a heart attack!!!"

* * * * * * *

This guy had a very attractive wife, who was always wanting clothes, jewelry, etc., but he was not too well off. One day his wife came home with a diamond neckless. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?"

His wife replied, "I won it at bingo."

The next night she came home with a mink coat. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?"

His wife replied, "I won it at bingo."

The next night she came home with a Mercedes Benz. The guy asked, "Where did you get that?"

His wife replied, "Look!! Don't keep asking where I get my things!! Go upstairs and run my bath for me!!"

His wife came upstairs to find a small amount of water in the tub. The wife asked, "How come you put so little water in the tub?"

He replied, "I didn't want to wet your bingo card!"

* * * * * * *

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

- A bingo machine.

* * * * * * *

PAT and MICK were playing Bingo.
Pat kept looking over Mick's shoulder saying, you've got that number mark it off, you've got that number mark it off.
After putting up with this for some time Mick got annoyed and said, "why don't you do your own sheet !?"
Pat replied - "I can't it's full !"

* * * * * * *

Two bingo players sit together
Face each other and wonder whether
Thee or me, which one will win
Me I hope will wear the grin.

* * * * * * *

Husband & wife playing bingo were competing to see who could call bingo the most.
They were level pegging & both needed number "5" to win.
5 came up so they shared the win. Therefore even scoring ~
"Not so !!" wife exclaimed, "I said it quicker !"

* * * * * * *

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"
Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers.
She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know I thought YOU were watching!"

MORAL: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.